The Discomfort of Inconvenience

     

    We live in a society that idolises comfort and instant gratification. It's why companies like Amazon, Uber and Doordash are so successful. It's why malls are now desolate places that these days feel more like living through a zombie apocalypse versus a place to go shopping and browse. It's why the self-check out line now seems longer than the ones with a cashier at them. It's why we reach for our phones to give us a hit of dopamine versus even a short work-out. It's why we numb ourselves with food, TV, books, work, time with others and doomscrolling. We don't like to sit in the quiet with our own thoughts. 

    Now, that's not to say any of these things are bad in and of themselves but I think that they can become a wall from dealing with our problems or ourselves. I also recognize that some of this we do subconsciously. It's not like we're always actively telling ourselves we want to run from our thoughts and feelings so we're going to entertain ourselves instead. Sometimes it's just a way to rest in terms of TV(but I think it should be done in moderation unless you're sick personally) and sometimes you need the convenience of self-check out versus the cashier but I think that other times, it's something we use to keep comfort and convenience because we don't want to wait and we don't want to work for things. We want what we want now and we want it our way. 

    I had this epiphany yesterday afternoon when I heard that my car would not be done at my mechanic's in time for the weekend. I was annoyed and I began blaming the car place for scheduling me in if they could not take care of the things my car needed done in a timely manner. I dreaded the thought of feeling trapped at home unable to do my grocery shopping and run errands independently and I was embarrassed that I had to ask my friend to come pick me up to meet me for coffee. 

    I wagged my finger at God and asked Him, "Why was my car having all this trouble (it had been in out of shops for the past month) on top of me already going through a time of life where I was healing from deep pain and betrayal. Can't You (He*) just give me a "get out of jail free card" from minor life inconveniences since I already had enough emotionally on my plate?" And as I said that to Him, I had to stop and laugh at myself and remember that normal everyday life problems don't stop just because you're walking through the fire but I am promised God's presence and providence in the midst of everyday life problems. 

    Here are some ways I saw God show up in the small providences despite my inconvenience (I hope you too, can be encouraged by this):

-A co-worker who was able to drop me off at a nearby shopping center from my work one of the days my dad couldn't pick me up until later

-quality time with my dad (whose retired now so he was able to) who very graciously drove from my parents to my place just to drive me to work and drive back out to pick me up (a flipping legend!) 

-the blessing of a rainy gross evening to be stuck at home in

-Doordash for toiletries when you need them ASAP (Yes it's convenient but it was chosen out of a need more than a preference in this circumstance, again I'm not saying those things are in and of themselves bad but I think that could be used mindfully) 

-extra time with my friend whom I was meeting for coffee

-this post. I've had writer's block lately but this circumstance helped me get my brain going again

-A new realization to not always choose what's "convenient" in my every day life

Here are some things that I want to start doing differently: 

-I want to take my groceries to the register instead of self-check out even if I have a few things the times I go to Giant or Whole Foods

-If it's not unbearably cold, walk to my library in the colder months not just the warmer months

-if I want to order take-out, choose "pick-up" instead of delivery 

-have gratitude that the car shop could catch the things that made my car not the safest and update and fix them in the shop rather than me getting into a predicament while on the road that could have been very no bueno

While I would love that we could get "get out of jail free cards" for life when we're already going through it, that's just not simply life. Car problems, stressful bills, and let downs are still bound to happen. It's okay to be annoyed and upset but I don't think it's healthy to stay there, I think that it's important to try and find the bright side of the inconvenience.  To sit with it, to take how you're feeling to God and ask Him to help you open your heart and eyes to the things that show His providence and presence. It will make your heart feel lighter and peaceful. 

Hope you have a great weekend/week!

-Amy