My Story

Hey there!

    I'm Amy. I grew up in a Christian home and became a Christian at a young age but never fully grasped in my heart what that fully meant for me. I wrestled with insecurity and strived to be "good enough" for God and others. I compared myself to others in middle school. I told myself, "I wish I could be as spiritual as __________", "if only I had blonde hair and blue eyes then I would be prettier", or "I wish I was more outgoing like _________". I tried to find security in friends and doing good deeds but I was still left feeling insecure and empty. 

After high school, I attended Bible College. While there, I learned a lot more about forgiveness than I ever had before. The things that I knew in my head from growing up actually began to hit my heart. I actually believed that only in Christ would I be able to find security.

From that moment on, I daily learned to place my security in Christ and find rest in who he is. Through the transformation that God did in my heart, He put a desire in my heart to share with girls that they are important and deeply loved by Jesus and that in him, true security and hope could be found. This led me to pursue youth work both in the States and abroad as I wanted teens to know more than anything that no matter what they’ve been through or where they have come from, they were loved and valuable just as they were and did not need others approval or acceptance to matter.

    Despite this, I still struggled off and on throughout the years. I went through a lot of moments where I would doubt God’s existence, His care and love. I let Christian culture rob me at times of the joys of knowing Jesus as I came across people who would put down others if they didn’t think/act like them. I discovered some of the Christian culture things I came across at Bible college were more toxic rather than of Jesus or the Gospel. 

I went through a period of time post college where I really asked myself what I believed. Why did I believe what I did? Was it because of my parents? How did I see God? What did I believe was true? I wrestled further with these questions shortly after I graduated while spending 2 months in Ireland with a missions agency while participating in an internship program helping churches and faith based non-profits around Ireland with their youth programmes. 

It wasn’t until this one moment while I was at a YWCA retreat center in Greystones, Ireland staring up at this mountain I could see in the distance that touched the sky that it hit me that God did truly love me and loved me as I was, not because of anything I could do for him or could become. 

Since that moment, I still wrestle through the ups and downs of life and I have many questions that I am sorting through but I know that at the end of the day, Jesus is with me and in him, I can place my hope. This blog is just a picture of things I’m learning as I continue on a daily basis to place my hope in Jesus and remind myself of the freedom and forgiveness that I have in him. Back in college, I titled my blog after a song by Switchfoot called “Learning to Breathe” because I felt like the lyrics were relatable to the lessons I was learning as I wrestled with God and learned to let Jesus work at my heart. I'm a big fan of cold brew coffee, tall trees, fries, Hendricks gin and my ukulele, Fernando.

I hope that some of what I have to say can be an encouragement to you in some way!

Much love,

Amy