Why the Gospel shakes things up when it comes to Myers Briggs

I was in college when I first took a Myers Briggs personality test. It was a required activity for one of my ministry courses. Whether you love it or hate it or pretend it doesn’t exist, you can’t deny that in a way having a piece of paper that describes you is helpful when it comes to teamwork. 

We are all designed differently. We think differently. We have different life experiences. We have different brain chemistry. We also share some similarities. Yet despite our similarities, none of us are clones of one another. These differences can either create unity if we work on our communication in a collaborative way or cause us to clash and feel disconnected. We can’t run from them though as much as we would like to. Thus, the Myers Briggs test was created I believe to not only help us better understand ourselves but also each other so that we can work well as a team in various settings. 

I ended up having to take that dang test about 5 times more for ministry and  non-profit related positions. And while the “J”judging” and “P”perceiving” attribute waxed and waned ever so slightly at various times, the “INF” percentages remained consistently high on every test I took. I eventually dubbed myself an “INFJ/P”. 

When I read the descriptions of both the INFJ and the INFP I said “yup, you hit the nail on the head” and simultaneously never felt so validated. Why my perceiving and judging ranges at various times in life? I’m not quite sure (something to dig into if I feel like it) but it tis what it tis. Maybe you can relate? That feeling you get when you read the results and you’re like “omgh! Yes this is me! Wait oh so I’m not weird or a psycho, there’s a name for this” “ohhhh that’s why I need to be alone for periods of time and genuinely enjoy it” or on the flip side, “oh! That’s why I crave to be with other people at times when I feel drained”. It can bring a sense of relief to some people to understand themselves better and feel a sense of clarity that maybe they haven’t before. 

I know personally, being quiet gets a bad rep. Kids are taught at a young age that being quiet means they have social anxiety, are shy, insecure or awkward. But that couldn’t be further from the truth. Some people are quiet because they like to be careful with their words, are more reflective, prefer to listen or simply may not be in the mood to talk or talk about themselves. It does a disservice to the quiet kids to put these labels on them. While I know louder or more talkative kids have their own struggles as well, more often than not kids that are quiet are taught that something is wrong with them because they are quiet. 

Personally, this is something I always felt wounded by in my younger teen years which affected me most of highschool in a negative way. So you can imagine the relief I felt when I was in college and came across the description of an INFJ. “Oh! there’s not something wrong with me. It’s ok that I operate this way, this doesn’t make me less than”. “Ohhhh that’s why I’d rather have conversations about music that moves you, if you believe in the afterlife, hear what you’re reading or talk about meaningful life experiences or something you’re learning rather than sports teams, the weather or celebrity gossip, ok this makes sense now”. These things I thought were weird about me but actually aren’t, they just make me, me. 

I found in life that understanding people’s Myers Briggs not only helps you when working as a team but also in relationships. It helps you understand why people may act a certain way, communicate a certain way and have certain needs. While I like to be careful not to put people in boxes as these tests can do as well at times, it is very helpful so that you know how to love those around you better and communicate in ways with them that they may find more helpful. It also helps you become more empathetic toward others if they do things a way you wouldn’t. All around, I’m a fan. 

However, like anything else in life we shouldn’t let our Myers Briggs type always determine how we act if we know Jesus. And maybe that’s when those percentages don’t always line up as they should or I can’t agree with everything under the description. Particularly, the notorious “INFJ door slam”.  

If I leave someone’s life because they have pushed their limits with me and have hurt me one too many times, I will not doorslam them. Why? Because I don’t think it’s a Christlike thing to do. Setting healthy boundaries is good. Sharing how you feel

is good and explaining why you need to step away from someone. While there have been times in my life in a moment of fury, I’ve wanted to give one to someone, I can’t. The Holy Spirit nudges me and reminds me that stepping away or ending a friendship with someone is ok, but to do so in love.

Part of doing that in love is communicating clearly and gently. Which goes against the exact definition of a doorslam. 

The Holy Spirit sometimes also nudges me to not be so quick to write someone off just because they have betrayed me in some way which goes against the INFJ approach which is “you betray me, I cut you off. You’re done”. 

We are called to “love our neighbors as ourselves”. 

 So despite my personality type, the Gospel is what points me to react in ways that go against what would be considered “normal” or “acceptable”.

Reflecting on the concept of being an INFJ but looking back over my life and seeing how I did not agree(and still don’t) with the act of doorslaming, got the wheels in my brain turning and so…….I’m going to do something a little different with my blog posts. Now, in the past I did this in college and it was hard to keep up with but that was a 30 day theme challenge whereas this time I’m going to stick to the theme for four posts. 

And you guessed it, yup! Myers Briggs! Over the next couple months (let’s be realistic here), I’m going to write 4 posts that delve deeper into what an “INFJ” is and address how to live with each of those attributes in a Gospel-centred way. I look forward to doing some research to dig into this and hope you find it interesting as well. 

Stay tuned!

Have a great week!