Finding gratitude despite a heavy or anxious heart

   I’ve been a bit quiet lately on my blog the past while. Not because I haven’t been learning anything but because the things that I’ve been learning haven’t been things that I’ve fully processed or things that I felt willing to write about. I’ve been going through a time in life where I’ve questioned God on His goodness. It’s been a time of forcing myself to open my Bible and find something to hold onto when things start to look blurry. I am ashamed to say that much of my view of God growing up is this-”You get what you get and you don’t get upset” and "I'll love you more if you obey me, but if you disobey me I'll love you less". These misconceptions are ones that I have had to wrestle with over the years and go back to the Bible to remind myself the truth of God's hand in my life, His love for me and that He does like to do more than we can imagine as well and give good things.

However, I find that when things go wrong in my life, I resort back to this mentality. While yes, in life we may not always get what we want, the truth is God is a good giver and He truly does loves us more than we can imagine regardless of what we are doing for Him. His love for us NEVER changes. It’s hard to remember that though when loss or hard things occur. When we go through a break-up, we lose a loved one, when a friend or family member gets bad news or when things at just seem to get a bit more stressful lately. I know so many people that are not thrilled with America's choices at the moment and that there is a fear on both sides. It is easy to say in stressful times or times of loss, “well, if God really loved me then He wouldn’t allow this into my life” or "if God really loved me then this wouldn't be happening to the world around me". I am re-learning that circumstances do not determine how much God loves us though. Circumstances happen because the world is broken and we are imperfect people. While God may use pain to help draw us to Him and make us stronger. He doesn’t cause it. Instead the bad or hard things happen because well there’s sin in the world, but then He is there to be a voice of hope, a voice of encouragement and a voice of joy. 

I think that it is as we acknowledge that, we can surrender our skewed version of who God is and we see Him for who He really is: a loving and just God. I think that the best way to start reminding yourself who God is and how He sees you is to start with giving thanks. I know, I know-giving thanks is the last thing you would want to do when you are stressed, overwhelmed, anxious, grieving or heart broken. I promise you though that when you do start to give thanks for the little things, it will change your perspective on your circumstances, your view of God and your attitude. Maybe you have things in your life that you are facing right now, things that make you question where God is or things that just make you anxious. Take some time and write down some things that you're thankful for. Maybe try to keep the list and try to add to it each day. It won't take the pain away, it won't immediately bring you joy but I promise you that in time as you practice being thankful, it will change your perspective and it will bring a little bit more peace or life back into your anxious or heavy heart.

That's really all I have to say. I've been in writing funk the past while but I hope that even though this post was short and sweet it could still bring encouragement to you in whatever you are facing today.

Have a good weekend!

Amy