Trusting the Process

  Throughout life, we go through different seasons. We go through a season of waiting, a season of providence, a season of patience, a season of mourning, and a season of transition. In every season, discouragement, encouragement, providence, change and loss are all present but one of these things seem to overshadow the rest the most. For example, you may be able to think back on a time in life were you were constantly waiting. You were learning to trust God to answer your prayer over the months. You consistently prayed for the one thing you were waiting on. There were still good things and bad things but a majority of the span of time was focused on waiting for a particular job, house or to start a family.  Until finally, God brought you the thing you were waiting on and praying for or you received an answer on it that was different than you anticipated. 

As I reflected over the past year, I saw that 2019 was a really bittersweet year. I learned a lot about prayer, saw God blow my mind with Him showing me how faithful He is and the strength and courage that is found in Him. I learned a lot about myself and continued to grow as a leader. I learned a lot about the world and became more open-minded toward others and grew compassionate toward people I wouldn’t naturally have compassion for. I saw God bring people into my life that encouraged me and challenged me. I saw friendships grow.  

   I also had a lot of tough times over the past year. I had people I care about pass away or become diagnosed with cancer and went through very stressful times financially. I had  a lot of sleepless nights and nights filled with fear instead of peace. Despite all that was more bitter than sweet though, I walked out of this past year with more love for Jesus, feeling more at peace and having more hope about the future. 

When I think about this new season I’m in. I often feel discouraged. Since I have moved back home to America, it feels like I’m taking one step forward then 2 steps back. I feel like I had this amazing and stretching experience for the past 2 years and then just like that it’s going back to point A. 

   Back to working 9-5 in something more career oriented. Back to living with my parents because of my choice to live off of missions support the 2 years prior. Back to starting over with a new church and finding a new rhythm in my quiet time with God. I can no longer just hop on a dart and be in front of the sea and those mountains that touch the sky, looking up in awe of God's creation and feeling closer to Him as I gaze at the beauty He's created. I can no longer be within 15-20 minutes of a city. I no longer have Sunday dinners and someone intentionally investing in me and challenging me. I no longer have people that I am investing in. 

  Instead, I have to search for these things again. I’m trying to find the beauty of God’s creation in the midst of parking lots and crowded shopping centers since I’m too far from the mountains, open land or the sea. I’m trying to find someone new to invest in and challenge me. I have to get to know new people at the new church I attend and be patient as I try to find a Sunday after church community. I have to find something new to invest in and give my time to aside from work.  

  In the starting over, it doesn’t seem to move as quickly as I would like. It feels instead like a slow process. A process of trying to get back into the rhythm of things while at the same time accepting and recognizing so much has changed around me and I am not the same person I was. Even when I try to move forward in certain things and make efforts, it still doesn’t seem to move as forward as I would like. 

   Merriam Webster’s dictionary defines process as “a natural phenomenon marked by gradual changes that lead toward a particular result.” Notice the word “gradual”. As in slow moving, steady moving. Personally, I would like to avoid the word “gradual” and my definition of a process would be one month or 2 months tops. Not 3 or nearly more than 3. The beautiful thing about being in a time of having to trust the process is that you aren’t alone in the process. God is with us even as He allows things in our lives that push our patience. Things that shake our identity and hope. He never leaves us through the process and He uses the discouraging or slow moving things to make us look more like His Son. 

  So to close, I would like to leave you with some verses about trusting God through times when life feels like a slow moving process or the result you’re aiming for seems so far away. I hope that if you are struggling to trust God through times of waiting or personal growth seems to be moving slower lately, that you can be encouraged by these verses to know that God is with you in this process. He will use even these times to make us look more like Jesus. 

  

     -Joshua 1:9
     -2 Corinthians 3:18
     -Ephesians 2:10 
     -Matthew 6:25-30
     -Romans 8:28

Hope you have a good weekend!

Much Love,
Amy