Right Place at the Right Time

   It was my fourth night out on the streets of the West End. Prior to going out on the streets, I got this picture of Jesus holding a child with the words, “you belong with me” written over them while we were in the prayer room praying. I didn’t know if it was to encourage anyone in particular or if it was just a general image to encourage those who feel lost, forgotten or unwanted. We also had prayed that we would be able to impact those we would help with our testimonies and that they could find hope in our testimonies. 
   After we finished praying, some of us stayed in the prayer room while the rest of us went out onto the streets in our teams of two. The girl that I was paired with, Beth and I began walking together. We stopped and chatted with some of the PR’s that we knew from previous nights on the streets then continued walking up and down the streets. As we walked, I felt like I was supposed to give this image to someone but had no idea who. Then I felt that we should walk towards the bottom of the West End near the fountain and the taxis. Sure enough, as we came to the water fountain, there was a guy sitting there, without his shirt and his head down. He looked to be about in his mid-twenties or maybe a little bit younger. 

         We stopped and asked him if he was alright then handed him a bottle of water to help him sober up. We sat down next to him and asked him if he knew where he was staying. He said yea as he pointed at the bracelet on his wrist. He then explained to us that his friends had left him and complained that it was unfair for his friends to just leave him here. We agreed with him that it was unfair for them to just leave him there, by himself. We introduced ourselves and he introduced himself, as Andrew.  “F***ing Hell. I can't believe they left. F***ing Hell. Jesus f***ing Christ” Andrew repeated over and over again. Each time he swore I felt God nudging me to give him the picture I had of the child being held by Jesus. I had no idea how to throw that into the conversation though. “Andrew,” Beth looked over at him then looked thoughtfully out toward the sky, “if you could have anything in life what would you have?” She asked him. “If I could have anything…” he looked out ahead, “I would want to be with my dad and grandad.” He said. “Why can’t you be with them?” Beth asked him. He told us that he couldn’t be with them because they were gone and all he wanted to do was join them. He talked about how much life just sucks and how he was just ready to be done.

   After he swore again, I felt God nudge me to give him the picture. “Andrew…” I paused, he looked over at me “I know this sounds a bit weird” I hesitated, then continued on, “but, earlier tonight I got this image of Jesus holding a child and I want you to know that you belong with Jesus and he wants you.” He shook his head then swore again. He then shared with us that he was depressed and how it was not fair that he was depressed because he was the happiest guy alive. He threw his hands up and shook his head, “How can I be depressed if I’m the happiest guy alive?!” He continued to go on about how hard life was. Beth then shared with him that she learned that as hard as life can be that she has found that God is there with her through all the hard bits and that He can help you through the tough times.

      “Why would God give me depression though?” He asked as he put his head in his hands. He began shaking his head and swearing. “I’m okay, I’m okay, I’m okay…"he kept saying to himself with his head in his hands then he stopped, "it’s ok not to be okay.” He concluded. We affirmed him for acknowledging that it is ok not to be okay. I then felt God nudging me to share a bit of my own story with depression. I shook my head. “Nope, no need to bring that in” I told God but before I knew it, I was opening my mouth and telling him that I understood a bit of what he was feeling. I looked at him, “I know it’s hard, but I promise you that if you talk to someone it will really help. I know that talking about it and even getting counselling later in life helped me in the moments where I felt my energy drop or I felt this unexplainable weight of sadness, or felt like shutting down. I promise, talking about it will help you.”
           He shook his head. "I can't" he said. I told him again that it would help him if he talked about what he was going through. He shook his head. He wasn't convinced. He put his head back in his hands, then looked up at the taxis ahead, his voice was confident but his eyes had a look of desperation, “you know I want to believe in God but I just don’t. Full stop.” Beth and I asked him why then we learned that he lost another family member. He continued to be angry about his depression, his loss and swore over and over again and we just sat there with him in his anger. I’m ashamed to admit that at one point, I began to worry about being back at the centre in time for our prayer shift yet something in me also knew that just being present with this guy in his pain was more important than being on time.

     And I am so glad we were there to just sit with Andrew. Even when the conversation felt repetitive,  I truly believe that he needed to hear what Beth and I had to say even though his mind didn't change about God or about talking with someone about his depression that night. I truly believe that what he needed that night was someone to talk to and someone to listen to him. The conversation eventually wrapped up, we told him to go back to his hotel and get some rest. We each gave him a hug and told him that he was so loved. He thanked us as we said goodbye and told us that he was glad we stopped and talked with him.

       As I walked away, I felt like the ground had slipped beneath my feet. I felt short of breath. I’ve never seen God work like that. The moment literally took my breath away. My heart broke for this guy. I wanted to sob over his pain, his loss, and his anger but I couldn’t get the tears out. I ached over how angry he was toward God, his desperation to believe that there was a God but he just couldn’t believe it. 
   When we got back to the centre, we recounted the story to the team there. One of the long term members told us that we can feel pain for him and over him but that we can move to a place of joy rather than despair because God brought us to this guy who needed to hear what Beth and I had to say and needed someone to just sit and listen to him. As we prayed, I finally grieved over Andrew and then found myself moving to a place of gratitude for God bringing us to him rather than despair over his life circumstances.

     My heart still breaks for this guy as well as many other people that I have met on the West End who are hurting. I am still amazed that God can work in such visible ways and that He can use anyone’s stories, hurts, and troubles for His glory.  I am in awe of Him and am so glad that He brought me to Ibiza for 2 weeks. I am excited for those currently on the island helping people and excited to see how God will continue to use people to love, serve, encourage and bring hope to those on the West End.

I hope you can be encouraged by reading this story to hear that God is working in unexpected ways and places. Have a great week!

-Amy