When Your 20s Are Not What You Expected

     

   It’s not a bad life. In fact, it’s been pretty great and so many wonderful things have happened but you may not be where you thought you would be after college.

   Your job is great and you really enjoy it but you are really struggling to pay off your student loans or even move out of your parent’s home. Every wedding you attend is filled with joy and excitement for your friends but is also a painful reminder that you haven’t found that person to spend the rest of your life with. You’re dating, but you aren’t quite ready to settle down yet. You said your “I do’s” but instead of riding off into the sunset, you’re headed straight into a giant thunderstorm as you approach your 2^nd year of marriage. You knew that marriage could be hard but you are so exhausted and discouraged lately, that you feel in over your head.

    You may not like your job at all but you are making enough money to pay your bills, so you stick it out anyways but it still frustrates you that you aren’t doing something you love so you begin to feel like your work is meaningless and begin questioning your career path. And the closest you are to that cool city life with all your 20 something friends with the dream apartment that overlooks the city is living vicariously through characters on Friends and How I Met Your Mother.

     Whatever it may be for you, life after college is just not what you thought it was going to be when you were a freshman full of big dreams and expectations. If you’re upset about it, that’s okay. Grieve the losses, the confusion, the frustrations and the things that are missing that you wish were there including the petty stuff like the realization that even life in the city is far from Friends and HIMYM. It’s better to be honest with yourself about it than keep it all bottled up, but then move forward.

      Look around you and look for the good things, go to God with your worries and desires. Try to memorize verses about trusting God, God’s power, His providence and your purpose in Christ. Life is never what we thought it would be and it’s okay to be upset about that but once you grieve, let go of your timeline and your expectations. Give God room to use you how He wants to today, let Him surpass your expectations. My life after college has not always been what I thought it would have been 6 years ago. I have learned though ( as well as continue to learn and constantly remind myself) that I need to let go of my expectations, my timeline and give room for God to use me now how He wants to, wherever He wants to. I have found that when I do that, I am amazed by all that God is doing, His nearness and become excited to see what He will do in the future.

  I hope this could encourage you in some way if lately you’ve felt like your expectations have not been met or you are struggling to trust God with the timing of things as you learn how to move forward, grow and be a real adult.  

Have a great week!

Amy 


"Occasionally weep deeply over the life you hoped would be. Grieve the losses.Then wash your face. Trust God. And embrace the life you have."
-John Piper