Unpaid Groceries & Neglecting the Heart

    The other day when I was about to pay for my groceries at the food store, I realized that my card was not in my wallet. My face turned several shades of red as I began frantically rummaging through my purse and unzipping each pocket on my purse. Not again. I thought to myself as I double-checked my wallet and sorted through receipts and gift cards. My heart sank to my stomach as I realized I had to admit to the man at the register that I did in fact just buy a cartload of groceries but had no money to pay for them. “I am so sorry, I must have left my card at home.” I told him. “Do you want to come back for these and we’ll hold them for you?” He asked me. “Yes, thank you so much, I’ll only be about 20 minutes” I breathed a sigh of relief as I left the store and ran home to get my card. Turned out I put my card in my work bag after getting gas for my car. I drove back to the store and thanked the kind and gracious people at Whole Foods for once again saving my groceries for me while I ran home for my card.

       Yup, once again. This was the second time in the past 3 months that I had left my card somewhere else than my wallet after getting gas for my car.  Though, I was relieved that I didn’t lose it for good, I was kicking myself in the head all the way home from the store. How could I have made this incredibly embarrassing mistake twice in just these past few months?! I realized that from now on I need to be aware of how scatter-brained I am when I’m running errands in between clients and double check my wallet before I run errands. I can’t assume my card is in my purse.

      Maybe this is a poor analogy, but this incident made me think of other times I’ve made dumb  mistakes and repeated them more than once because I’m just trying to get it done or it won’t get done because I’ll forget to do it. I become comfortable with being scatter-brained. If I write myself notes though, I’ll remember to get done what I need to. If I get paperwork done for work but double check it before I hand it in, then I don’t have to go back to the office to fix any errors. In the same way, I think that when it comes to the sin in our hearts, it can be easy to become comfortable. Even though we are bound to screw up and repeat certain sins because we are human, I have realized that just like I need to triple check my wallet before I go grocery shopping or re-read things before I send them in, I need to be aware of what’s really going on in my heart and make efforts to feed it with the things that will help it grow.

      There is grace, SO much grace and I am so grateful for it. Christ in us and the work of the Holy Spirit in us is the only way that our hearts can change but we cannot expect change or expect to conquer a certain sin without being willing to change. I am seeing the importance of really looking at my heart and realizing the impact that scriptures and time with God can do to my heart. I am going to sin and there are going to be messy and ugly parts in my heart but just because it’s bound to happen and I’m covered by grace doesn’t mean that I should take my sin lightly or neglect my heart . I need to repent and ask for forgiveness. I need to daily apply God’s word to my life and allow Him to show me the things in my heart that need to change. That's when real growth begins. 

       Maybe you can relate to this. Maybe you have neglected your heart for too long and have let Sundays and bible study once a week be what grows it and sustains it. I know it's hard to set aside time to read the Bible during the work week, oh boy do I know, but I have been realizing how truly beneficial it is to our hearts. You don't have to sit down and read 5 chapters every single morning (unless you want to) start out small, if that fits best. Pick a verse that you like, write it on an index card and read over it in the morning or during your lunch break. Pray to God on your commute to work. God alone changes our hearts, but if we want to grow and want true heart change, we have to be aware of what's going on in our hearts and apply truths to them.   

Have a great week!

"Remain in me, and I will remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me." -John 15:4