A Trust Without Borders May Not Be An Adventure

 

    I remember when I first heard "Oceans (Where Feet May Fail)" by Hillsong United during chapel one time in college, I thought it was a beautiful song but I could never bring myself to sing the bridge because I knew that I did not mean it. I did not want to be led where my trust is without borders. I liked to play it safe. I liked knowing what was ahead of me. I liked my comfort. So, why would I willingly ask God to bring me to a place where I would walk upon the waters wherever He would call me? Would if He put me in a dangerous country or gave a dear family member cancer or let my house burn down? I thought of all the drastic ways I could be led to a "trust without borders".
     Eventually, I began to sing the bridge but say "okay God, help me to sing this and mean it." Time went on and I felt like I could lay things in His hands and would be willing to go wherever He would call me. As I sing the bridge today, awaiting the major trial where my trust is "without borders" I have learned that sometimes a trust without borders is not a riveting, exciting yet terrifying adventure or a major trial.
  Sometimes a trust without borders is learning how to live at home with your parents again when you would rather find a place of your own. It's accepting the job that may not pay off your loans as fast as you would like but it's something at least and something you really do enjoy. It's the daily struggle of navigating what it means to be a "real" adult and a wrestling with the questions of: "Where am I headed?" "How will I pay for anything ever? " What are my dreams?" "How do I stay present and content here?" The trust without borders is daily surrendering to God your hopes, dreams, your worries and your anxieties, right where you are. It's learning to to trust Him through the ups and the downs, the times you feel like you're finally figuring things out and the times you feel like you have no idea what you're doing. That's what it means for me right now to be in a place where my trust is without borders. Maybe that will change someday, but for now, I'm going to learn to trust God through this wild,weird and terrifying adventure of being a "real" adult and to trust Him through the small disappointments and challenges.