22 Things I've learned from Post-Grad Life

I hate to admit it but I think Taylor Swift said it best in her anthem “22”. Whether you love her, hate or don’t really care about her, if you’re 22 and transitioning into “true” adulthood you have admit she was onto something with her song. While we may not all be dressing up like “hipsters” or going out for breakfast at midnight. I’ve talked with enough fellow post-grads and read enough “woes of entering adulthood” articles on Thought Catalog to know that we are definitely “happy, free, confused and lonely at the same time”. I always find it helpful to read things from others that are facing similar things as me so I thought I’d write a little post of things I’ve learned so far from this time that is equal parts “miserable” as they are “magical”

1.) God will be your Rock. It’s not that I wouldn’t say I hadn’t had times in college where I needed to daily remember to rely on God but when you are looking at a piece of paper that says, “Amy’s Future” and all you see is a giant question mark, it really challenges you to constantly remind yourself that God has every single day in His hands. Spend time with Him, come to Him honestly and daily. It truly does give you a lot more peace about what’s ahead of you.

2.) Don’t rely on people to fill you up.  In college, I was surrounded by so many genuinely loving people and mentors. I felt that I was very encouraged on almost a daily basis by conversations or letters or just by being with people that understood me because they shared the same faith as me. I have learned that when you lose that and aren’t surrounded by fellow believers as often, it’s easy for you to shrink back and get discouraged a lot. It’s not bad at all that my school created such a loving, and welcoming atmosphere but if you come from that type of college atmosphere, be prepared to learn that you won’t always have those things so you have to daily remind yourself to find joy in Jesus and find encouragement in the Scriptures. Remember that he is enough.   

3.) Memorize Scriptures. I am learning how important it is to memorize verses and how helpful they can be to recall when you find your mind going somewhere it shouldn’t.

4.) Be silent. Spend time by yourself away from the TV, computer, books, CDs and Spotify. It’s amazing how refreshed you will feel when you spend time simply sitting in silence. I find that my perspective about things becomes more clear when I take times in silence.

5.) Go on dates with yourself. Yup, you read that right. I know it sounds funny but it can be super refreshing to spend time by yourself going out to breakfast, lunch or exploring a local town nearby. Try to be intentional and make a point to go out by yourself once or twice a month. Go paint pottery, sit in a coffee shop and read, go hiking or go see a movie you’ve been wanting to see. 

6.) Find a young adult’s Bible study and get involved. Coming from Bible College, I was given a major wake-up call that I needed to add more to my life than church about a month or 2 after I graduated. After 4 years of chapel, classes and leadership meetings, of being constantly challenged I learned that I need to make efforts to continue to be challenged. If your home church doesn’t have a young adults Bible study, find a church nearby and get involved there. Since I have gone to one, I have found that it has helped me continue to grow as I am being challenged and reminded of things that I need to be reminded of.

7.) Don’t be afraid to meet new people. I know it’s scary and feels awkward. Especially if you’re like me and small talk just isn’t your thing. After building relationships through dorm life, I’ve forgotten how you start friendships aside from deep pillow talks before you go to bed and bonding through mornings brushing your teeth together. Try to start with the basics. Ask people how they are enjoying their jobs, what their hobbies are, or where they went to school or are going to school.

8.) Keep a Gratitude List. I am an avid promoter of Ann Voskamp’s One Thousand Gifts list idea. Basically, you keep a journal every day where you write down something or some things you are thankful for that occurred that day. It doesn’t have to be big or elaborate things. It can be simply the fact you got a 2 for $10 deal on some CDs you’ve been wanting or had a good conversation with your mom. I find that when I give thanks for the smaller things, I become more grateful for the life that God has given me.

9.) Ask the hard questions. Once you’ve left that college bubble, your eyes become more open to the world around you. You begin paying more attention and realize that the world doesn’t revolve around you. You see more pain and you may find yourself wrestling with doubts. Don’t ignore them and hope they go away. Open your Bible, talk to your Pastor or trusted older mentor if you have one. Read books by Kevin DeYoung, C.S. Lewis or Tim Keller, that challenge you and help you work through the questions you have. Personally, I’ve found The Reason for God by Tim Keller to be really helpful.

10.)Don’t stop dreaming just because your dream seems impossible. Dreams seem so attainable when you think about them and then go over in your brain what you can do to get there but then you look at that not so little number of college debt you have to pay off, and your dreams seem to be well, just dreams. Don’t let that discourage you though. Continue to give your dreams over to God and if you can take any steps to get there even if it’s a very small step, take it. Because you never know….

11.) A dream becomes more than a dream when you take even the smallest step of action.  This goes hand in hand with what’s above. If you have a dream and you want to achieve it, don’t just sit there and hope it’ll happen. Want to write a book? Start writing. Want to start a youth center? Get involved in a youth group or ministry. Want to start a business? Interview someone that has. I believe that a lot of my generation is full of big dreamers but many of us are too scared to take steps or feel discouraged by how far we are from our dreams. We can take those steps though and once we do, we do become that much closer to our dreams.

12.)It’s okay to cry. This time can be truly terrifying and sometimes you just need to cry. Don’t feel bad about crying when you feel overwhelmed by these unknowns even when you’re trying to trust God. You’re human, let the tears go.

13.)Live in the minutes. You know that old phrase, “one day at a time”. I feel that as you transition into “true” adulthood it’s good to take life, one minute at a time. Maybe even one second at a time. When you focus too much on what’s next, you forget to enjoy what’s in front of you. I find that when I focus on what I am doing in each minute, I am able to appreciate what’s going on in front of me and I am less worried about what is going to happen next.

14.)Take a job even if it’s not your “dream” job or a “grown-up” job. Your first job out of college may not be in an office, and it may not be your passion. It may feel discouraging to be walking around with a college degree but working as a sales associate, day care worker, barista or waiter/waitress or two random part-time jobs but at least you’re doing something. In the long run, you’ll be grateful you took the job you took even if it’s temporary because you’ll learn a lot from it and your bank account will thank you.

15.) Read Revelation. In a Young Adult’s group I go to, we have been studying the end times. As I read about what’s to come. I am reminded of the hope we have in Jesus and how incredible it is that one day God will wipe away all this pain and sin, destroy evil and make this beautiful perfect, new earth that we get to walk on and live in with HIM. When I am reminded of this, it helps me remember how I should be spending my time on this earth. It brings me a lot of peace as I look toward unknowns and helps me remember why I am here. Our group leader suggested particularly that Revelation 21 & 22 be passages that we hold deeply in our hearts. I’ll pass the same advice to you. 

16.)Value time with your family. At first I felt silly and a bit embarrassed that I had to live at home my first year out of college. However, I have learned how much I appreciate my family and that I should cherish this time I have at home with my parents. I am grateful for them and want to make sure I make the most of this time at home rather than wish for it to fly by so I can go be a “real” adult because I am realizing that one day I will be on my own, and I will have wished I made more of my time with them.

17.)Re-evaluate the things you put your time and energy in. On days off, it can be tempting to spend hours surfing social media sites or re-watching old episodes of Gilmore Girls or Parks and Recreation but I have found that it’s more productive and rewarding to pick up old hobbies I used to enjoy or read something that challenges me. I don’t mean to preach at you but if we have time to sit down and read something that challenges us or study a scripture deeper, I’m learning that we should take it. I really have found that being productive with my down time rather than just spending a lot of it “relaxing” (AKA wasting hours on Netflix) has made a difference in my heart and attitude. It’s okay to watch TV or Netflix but be intentional about the time you spend doing so. Maybe set aside to watch only an hour of TV at the end of the day or just one episode.

18.)Write Letters.  I’ve found that it’s a fun way to stay in touch with some friends from college and I have felt often encouraged by the letters I’ve received. It also gives you an opportunity to pass on encouragment to others and to get a little creative as well since you can decorate the cards or envelopes that you send.

19.)Accept change. Change is hard, scary and also frustrating. However, it can be wonderful, exciting and even encouraging. I know it’s not easy but when you begin to accept that the “times they are a changin”  and quit mourning over what once was, it really does become easier. You learn to embrace it and find good in it.

20.) Learn to love others. I believe that this is a life lesson that never stops. Learning to love selflessly. Learning to love even when you won’t be loved back. It’s tough, but it’s something that we all need to learn, myself included. There's more on this but it's a whole other post. To read more, you can read here. 

21.) Learn to love yourself. Again, an on-going life lesson. We need to learn to accept ourselves and see the good things about ourselves. When we learn to love ourselves and see how valuable we are because of who we are in Christ, our perspective about ourselves becomes clearer. Again, I could say more on this but if I do this number will take up the whole page. If you want to read more you can see this post here. 

22.) Pray often. Pray a lot. Pray for others, pray for yourself, pray for unbelievers. It helps grow your relationship with God and also helps give you perspective.

Those are just some of the things I'm learning so far as I navigate through this stage. I hope that you could find it helpful or encouraging in some way whether you are currently a post-grad or about to become one. This awkward phase continues to be awkward but I am learning to find the joy in it. I hope you can do the same. 

Have a great weekend!