When Someone's Missing Under The Mistletoe

To be honest, I was feeling really hesitant about this post. I guess cause it's kind of a touchy subject. Something that I don't like to announce to the general public in fears of sounding "ungrateful" "boy crazy" or "discontent". Plus it's kind of a deep thing. I mean you don't go running up to people in the street going, "hi my name is _____ and some days I really struggle with singleness". Then there's the whole "I don't need a man" attitude that some of us like to put on at times. I'm pretty sure most of you know what I'm talking about. It's like the more you seem like you don't care that you're single then the more you can show everyone how strong you are and how you are doing just fine without someone by your side. Because if you admitted that you actually want someone by your side then you might seem too desperate right? I know, we all realize how much we’re over thinking and worrying about things when we hear it like that :)

However, I changed my mind despite these things because I guess I wanted to in some way encourage single people out there who are struggling and let them know that there’s someone out there who gets it. So here it goes.

You're watching a cheesy yet cute Hallmark movie and the main characters are falling in love. It annoys you but at the same time you can't stop watching. You're happy for this pretend couple and want to watch their story unfold. As you sit there watching them laugh and enjoy life in a perfect Christmas town, you wonder when a love kind of like that (because let's be honest Hallmark isn't very realistic about things hah) will come around. You wonder what it will be like to enjoy this time of year with someone. And I get it. It's tough to not have someone to walk in the snow with, go on trips with for the day or someone special to shop for. But even though it can be hard especially during this time, here's some things to keep in mind.

5 things to keep in mind this holiday season when being single hurts more than other times during the year:

1.)You aren’t more special than married or dating people.
I know you’re probably going “what? I thought this post was supposed to encourage me?” I know, keep reading. I have found that a lot of times single people like to preach to other single people that they are most useful to God right now during this season of their life. And it’s true, you do have more time to go anywhere and do anything. But that doesn’t mean you are more important. Single, dating or married, all people are important and can use their gifts and talents to glorify God. You have equal importance whether you are single, dating or married.

2.)Your worth does not come from your dating status.
“and you have been given fullness in Christ, who is head over every power and authority” –Colossians 2:10
I know you’ve heard it a bunch of times. But it’s true. Your value is found in who you are in Christ and in what he has done for you. You aren’t any less just because someone isn’t in your life right now. You have been made complete in Christ. ( Want to read more of what Christ has done for you: Romans 5:6-10, Romans 8:37-39 and these are just a few)

3.)Whether Single or Dating Allow God To Refine You.
This is another thing that I feel like we often preach to single people. We tell them that they are single right now because God wants to teach them something, God’s still working on them. While I do agree that there is a point that we should stay single if there’s certain things we really need to work on. The truth is, we’re all going to be worked on the rest of our lives; single, dating or married and we won’t be perfect until we get to Heaven. I encourage you to not waste this time now and allow yourself to be refined. In the future, when this whole single thing ends, continue to not waste time and allow yourself to be refined.

4.)Fall deeper in love with God (& continue even when this singleness ends)
No I’m not saying let Jesus be your boyfriend. I’m saying fall in love with who God is. Read the Bible. Go outside, admire His creation. Pray that He would help you to fall deeper in love with Him and become more in awe of Him. When you find yourself falling deeper in love with God and in awe of Him, it helps you to feel more content in this way I can’t explain. I know it sounds weird but it really does. Trust me. Finding contentment is something that you can remember now and in the future relationships. Because even when you do date, you will not be completely satisfied 24/7. You will probably even be annoyed at times. But that’s because any relationship on earth wasn’t designed to complete us and satisfy us exactly the way God does. So continue to fall in love with God.

5.)Go Easy on yourself.
I know that when you’re single it can be easy to beat yourself up. Wonder why nothing has ever worked out. Why any possibilities that happen seem to die out. Wonder if there’s something wrong with you. Hear me loud & clear: There is nothing wrong with you. You really are as great as your friends may say you are. You are pretty. You are attractive. You are kind. I know it’s hard but for whatever reasons why you don’t understand, it’s just not quite time yet. I know it’s hard oh boy trust me I know. But don’t beat yourself up. Just know that the time hasn’t quite come yet, and that’s okay.