A Part Of Me Is Miles and Miles Away

I’m happy to be here. Really I am. But even as I go through out my days, I feel like a part of me is missing. All this summer is consisting of is hanging out with friends, family, vacations, community college courses and a brief summer job. Ok you may be thinking….so what’s so bad about that? And it’s not a bad summer. It’s just different. Much different.


See last summer, I was given an amazing opportunity to go to Romania and do some missions work. Maybe I only feel this way because it was my first “official” overseas missions trip. But I was just so drawn in by the people there. And I fell in love with the people and children there. They were the kids that just touch your heart. And find some way inside you. When I was working with the kids I felt like I was “in my zone”. It just all came natural to me. And there was just something so warming and fulfilling about working with these kids. When I would work with these kids, it was like every crazy thing that runs through my mind was just silent. I was just always at peace working with these kids. I don’t know if it’s in my future to return to Romania again someday. I would hope so, but who knows? One thing for sure though is that a piece of me will always be over there. The people we worked with and the kids we taught all found a place to my heart. And I know I shouldn’t mope around. But I am finding difficulty to be happy with where I am right now. Even though I was completely across the globe. A city I had not heard of before nor knew anything about became my home. I just felt so at home there. It’s funny how that can happen.


These strong feelings were dimmed down once the school year started as I was excited about the new adventure ahead. But once the summer hit and I think about how this summer will look versus last summer…..I’m pretty homesick for Romania. I am restless. I am restless to feel needed. I need to feel needed. I need to feel useful. There are those times, where I start to get easily tired of the simple suburban life. I know I should appreciate where I live. I don’t mean to sound like that. I really do appreciate it. Really I do feel blessed. It’s just that sometimes I yearn to find my way back to the places that hold a piece of my heart. Sometimes I just want to be away from this culture, I want to experience new cultures. Sometimes I just want to see the people and the church that found their way to the very core of my heart.


But I am learning that I need to make the most of where I am at and understand that as of right now, this is where God has me. This is where I need to be. Though I don’t fully get it, this is it for now. And here there can still be ways that I can give myself to others, experience peace and serve wholeheartedly.