Back to my roots
So I know its been awhile since I last wrote. I've been overwhelmed with stress and end of the year things. Sadly, I will say that I have not been the best at keeping up in the word as the year came to a close. I also got my priorities mixed up. I slacked off in school, I placed my securities in all the wrong things. As the end of the year came, I began to get very upset.It scared me how upset I got. I was upset with how things were going.I was upset with God about the future and wrestled with my role in this world. What did God want to do with me? I forgot all the scriptures I've learned and reminders about how he has a beautiful plan for my life, verses about paitence as I try to figure out what that is and what that looks like,verses about how much he loves me and cares about me, and verses about where I need to be placing my securities and who I need to find my idenity in.
I reached this point were I did not want to be there at school or here at home. The way I would put it is that I just wanted to find a path that didn't really go anywhere and just run.I wanted to still live. Goodness gracious! Yikes! but I wished there was some path that existed that I could just run and the path wouldn't stop. Run and not stop running.
Run from the stresses of people
Run from the stresses of upcoming finals
Run from the future that lay ahead and not face the ups and downs of life.
After talking with some good friends and my mom. It really hit me that I need to just let go and surrender. Surrender my worries of the future, go back to God. I think sometimes there is a point in our lives where we try to balance it all out. We try to carry it all on our own. We bottle it up and stick it on our shelves. We put some of it on other people and depend on them for things that only Christ can offer. So we end up in this rut where we are displeased with those around us, ourselves and the things in front of us.
I let stress get to my head and placed my securities in all the wrong things. Sometimes I can get so caught up in those things. When I do, I need to just let them go. I need to give the worries to God, the people I hold onto, my insecurities. I need to just let them go. Clearly, when I try to hold on,I just end up making myself miserable. They are definitely better off in his hands. When I did let go,I felt like the boulder that grew overtime was taken right off my back. It was like I started off with this tiny rock on my back, and kept piling rocks on top. Until it all mashed together to create this giant ugly boulder that I clung onto too tightly. But when I let go, it came right off my back.
MY ACTION PLAN: so if this applies to you and this is something that you have wrestled with I'd encourage you to not only try to read the word and try out journaling but try memorizing some scriptures. For me I realized memorization can make a huge difference. It gives me a clear perspective on things and reminds me to go back to the roots and values and priorities,I entered in with.
quotes & verses:
"Hold everything in your hands lightly otherwise it hurts when God pries your fingers open"
Phillipians 4:8-9 -reminds me of how I should be thinking and what mindsets I should have
John 14:27- reminds me that it is silly to worry
Phillipians 2:3-4-reminds me of the mindset I should have
1 Peter 5:7- remimds me to give it God
Proverbs 23:12-reminds me of what I should do
Ephesians 2:10- reminds me who I am
great song: "Your Hands" by JJ Heller
I have unanswered prayers
I have trouble I wish wasn't there
And I have asked a thousand ways
That You would take my pain away
That You would take my pain away
I am trying to understand
How to walk this weary land
Make straight the paths that crookedly lie
Oh Lord, before these feet of mine
Oh Lord, before these feet of mine
When my world is shaking
Heaven stands
When my heart is breaking
I never leave Your hands
When You walked upon the Earth
You healed the broken, lost, and hurt
I know You hate to see me cry
One day You will set all things right
Yea, one day You will set all things right
When my world is shaking
Heaven stands
When my heart is breaking
I never leave Your hands
Your hands
Your hands that shape the world
Are holding me, they hold me still
Your hands that shape the world
Are holding me, they hold me still
When my world is shaking
Heaven stands
When my heart is breaking
I never leave You when...
When my world is shaking
Heaven stands
When my heart is breaking
I never leave...
I never leave Your hands
<3
I reached this point were I did not want to be there at school or here at home. The way I would put it is that I just wanted to find a path that didn't really go anywhere and just run.I wanted to still live. Goodness gracious! Yikes! but I wished there was some path that existed that I could just run and the path wouldn't stop. Run and not stop running.
Run from the stresses of people
Run from the stresses of upcoming finals
Run from the future that lay ahead and not face the ups and downs of life.
After talking with some good friends and my mom. It really hit me that I need to just let go and surrender. Surrender my worries of the future, go back to God. I think sometimes there is a point in our lives where we try to balance it all out. We try to carry it all on our own. We bottle it up and stick it on our shelves. We put some of it on other people and depend on them for things that only Christ can offer. So we end up in this rut where we are displeased with those around us, ourselves and the things in front of us.
I let stress get to my head and placed my securities in all the wrong things. Sometimes I can get so caught up in those things. When I do, I need to just let them go. I need to give the worries to God, the people I hold onto, my insecurities. I need to just let them go. Clearly, when I try to hold on,I just end up making myself miserable. They are definitely better off in his hands. When I did let go,I felt like the boulder that grew overtime was taken right off my back. It was like I started off with this tiny rock on my back, and kept piling rocks on top. Until it all mashed together to create this giant ugly boulder that I clung onto too tightly. But when I let go, it came right off my back.
MY ACTION PLAN: so if this applies to you and this is something that you have wrestled with I'd encourage you to not only try to read the word and try out journaling but try memorizing some scriptures. For me I realized memorization can make a huge difference. It gives me a clear perspective on things and reminds me to go back to the roots and values and priorities,I entered in with.
quotes & verses:
"Hold everything in your hands lightly otherwise it hurts when God pries your fingers open"
Phillipians 4:8-9 -reminds me of how I should be thinking and what mindsets I should have
John 14:27- reminds me that it is silly to worry
Phillipians 2:3-4-reminds me of the mindset I should have
1 Peter 5:7- remimds me to give it God
Proverbs 23:12-reminds me of what I should do
Ephesians 2:10- reminds me who I am
great song: "Your Hands" by JJ Heller
I have unanswered prayers
I have trouble I wish wasn't there
And I have asked a thousand ways
That You would take my pain away
That You would take my pain away
I am trying to understand
How to walk this weary land
Make straight the paths that crookedly lie
Oh Lord, before these feet of mine
Oh Lord, before these feet of mine
When my world is shaking
Heaven stands
When my heart is breaking
I never leave Your hands
When You walked upon the Earth
You healed the broken, lost, and hurt
I know You hate to see me cry
One day You will set all things right
Yea, one day You will set all things right
When my world is shaking
Heaven stands
When my heart is breaking
I never leave Your hands
Your hands
Your hands that shape the world
Are holding me, they hold me still
Your hands that shape the world
Are holding me, they hold me still
When my world is shaking
Heaven stands
When my heart is breaking
I never leave You when...
When my world is shaking
Heaven stands
When my heart is breaking
I never leave...
I never leave Your hands
<3
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