To the Person Struggling with Depression: "This Too Shall Pass"

At first, I was hesitant to write this letter on here. It’s really honest which is scary. On top of that I sometimes worry about some of the things I say on here and worry that I’ve been too honest with acquaintances and random people out in the world that I don’t even know. Earlier the other day, I was sharing with a friend how I can be hesitant to write some posts because I fear that they are “too” honest. She reminded me of Ernest Hemingway’s words of writing wisdom, “write hard and clear about what hurts”. As I let those words soak in, I was reminded that the whole reason I started this blog was to share things that I was learning or going through in hopes of it bringing encouragement to someone out there in the world since I had found that I had been encouraged by blogs I’ve read. Recently, I have found this post on Ann Voskamp's blog particularly encouraging. I'd encourage you to check it out after you're done reading this and hear this woman's beautiful, raw words about her own story.

Hemingway's words from my friend and the woman's honesty within her story in the above post have encouraged me to share this letter that I have written in hopes of encouraging someone today that is struggling with this and these feelings by letting you know that you're not the only one out there that wrestles with this and to remind you that even in this, there is hope.

Dear You,

I walk around with a tired heart. Apathy has become my closest companion. If you looked into my eyes, they would be distant. They have lost the sparkle and life that they once had. The quiet joy that glowed through once, is something rare for you to find. The dark, cold winter has never felt so draining. It has sucked the life out of me, leaving me dry and wandering. I know what it’s like you know, that odd feeling of being surrounded by so many; yet at the same time feeling alone. The constant battle between self-pity and progress. The awkwardness you may feel when someone asks you how you’re doing but you’re not quite sure how to respond. Forcing yourself to laugh at something, then later on not being really sure what was so funny anyway. The frustration of trying to remember what being “normal” even looks like for you. That fake smile you get so good at putting on, you almost have yourself fooled. I’m familiar with the unhappiness you wish you didn’t feel. And the nights on end you spend starring at the ceiling overthinking everything if you head to bed without a cup of chamomile tea or a bit of melatonin.

But then came the day the sun streamed through the clouds, and a small bit of hope began to stir in me. It began to hit me that I don’t have to wallow in it and even when you have a fog of unhappiness wrapping around you; you can still have joy because joy is something that is found in Christ Jesus. I won’t argue that it goes deeper than emotions. Believe me, I understand there’s more to it than spending time in prayer and reading scripture. It’s in your brain. It’s an illness like anything else and if it’s a severe case-you should get medical help and take medications but I’ll get back to my point. We can have joy even when we are unhappy because joy is not a feeling, it is a hope.

A hope to hold when the clouds blur your vision. A hope to hold onto when you’re sick and tired of crying or feeling less of yourself than you “normally” are. A hope that echoes in the quiet whisper-“this too shall pass”. With every beam of sunshine that comes down and touches my face, I hear the quiet whisper, “this too shall pass”. I hear it as the birds sing their morning melodies each morning, every tune they sing echoes back: "this too shall pass".

So as long as this sunlight keeps streaming through, I’ll remember who I am. I know that when the clouds begin to hide the sun, I may forget myself again. Yet the Lord will continue to carry you and me. Hope will be found even within the smallest glimmer of light that peaks out from beneath the clouds. So do not fear, this won’t last forever. Even the days we may find it easy to shut down and let shame or apathy take over, know that there is hope. We are given strength. We can be unhappy at times yes, but nothing can steal our joy if we are in Christ. Joy will continue to be that reminder, that quiet whisper in every beam of sunlight, “this too shall pass”.

NOTE: please do tell someone if you do struggle with any form of depression even if it isn't that severe because it's not something that you can get through on your own and it isn't something that you should be ashamed of.