Breaking Your Alabaster Box
The other morning I was reading Lady In Waiting the part I was reading was talking about "breaking" your alabaster box. An alabaster box was something that held very expensive perfume in the biblical days. Many times when we hear about alabaster boxes its in the context talking about when the woman in Matthew 26 broke her alabaster box and poured the expensive perfume on Jesus' head. She gave her something that was so valuable to her because she saw Jesus worthy of such a sacrifice. So many times we fill our alabaster boxes with our dreams, our expectations and our desires. We box them and seal them up in extravagantly decorated boxes. We take our time with how we decorate them and protect them because they mean so much to us. The meditation journal part of the book asked the question, "How do you know if you have broken your alabaster box at the feet of Jesus?" I thought about it for awhile. I would like to say that I had broken my alabaster box at His feet but if I were to be completely honest with myself, I have not.
It's almost like a vicious cycle, we go through things and we say "Okay God, I messed up, here you take it! you take this area of my life because I don't know what I'm doing here." But then a day goes by and we're like "Ya know what God, I don't think I feel comfortable with You having that, could I please have it back? Because You see, I don't think You're going to meet me there and I don't know if I can trust You with that area of my life". Next thing you know our boxes are clutched tightly underneath our greasy grip. I would get frustrated by this cycle and be like "I thought I gave this up but now I'm back to where I started not having enough faith that God is going to take care of this". And then it hit me. This is not a said and done thing. We need to be daily being like "Ok, God remind me that I cannot handle this myself and today I need to give it to You". Because on our own our hearts don't mean it. Our hearts are naturally wicked, selfish and flawed. We won't be able to surrender on our own. So when we say "okay God this is yours" we probably don't really mean it if by our own power we are trying to surrender things.
So we need to change our mindset to "Okay God, on my own, my heart WON'T let You have this, and let's both be honest I'm probably going to make this a vicious cycle. But please work at my heart so I can say, "this is yours" and remind me daily that I cannot surrender on my own strength but by Your strength and Your workings at my heart, I can". Not to go so much on a tangent here but lately I've been thinking about worship songs, "Take my life and let it be consecrated Lord to Thee", "Oh I'm running to Your arms, I'm running to Your arms, the riches of Your love will always be enough". Yet as I sing these words I know my heart on its own doesn't want God to take my life completely and do whatever He wants. I know my heart on its own doesn't believe that God's love will always be enough and be all I need, as I daily fight through life going "gee thanks God for that thing, but can I have this now also?" But I can only pray that God would work at my heart to let these words ring true and to break my alabaster box at His feet. Because on our own our hearts won't mean it or will fight to truly mean it but we can pray that with God's strength and workings, we can mean it.
It's almost like a vicious cycle, we go through things and we say "Okay God, I messed up, here you take it! you take this area of my life because I don't know what I'm doing here." But then a day goes by and we're like "Ya know what God, I don't think I feel comfortable with You having that, could I please have it back? Because You see, I don't think You're going to meet me there and I don't know if I can trust You with that area of my life". Next thing you know our boxes are clutched tightly underneath our greasy grip. I would get frustrated by this cycle and be like "I thought I gave this up but now I'm back to where I started not having enough faith that God is going to take care of this". And then it hit me. This is not a said and done thing. We need to be daily being like "Ok, God remind me that I cannot handle this myself and today I need to give it to You". Because on our own our hearts don't mean it. Our hearts are naturally wicked, selfish and flawed. We won't be able to surrender on our own. So when we say "okay God this is yours" we probably don't really mean it if by our own power we are trying to surrender things.
So we need to change our mindset to "Okay God, on my own, my heart WON'T let You have this, and let's both be honest I'm probably going to make this a vicious cycle. But please work at my heart so I can say, "this is yours" and remind me daily that I cannot surrender on my own strength but by Your strength and Your workings at my heart, I can". Not to go so much on a tangent here but lately I've been thinking about worship songs, "Take my life and let it be consecrated Lord to Thee", "Oh I'm running to Your arms, I'm running to Your arms, the riches of Your love will always be enough". Yet as I sing these words I know my heart on its own doesn't want God to take my life completely and do whatever He wants. I know my heart on its own doesn't believe that God's love will always be enough and be all I need, as I daily fight through life going "gee thanks God for that thing, but can I have this now also?" But I can only pray that God would work at my heart to let these words ring true and to break my alabaster box at His feet. Because on our own our hearts won't mean it or will fight to truly mean it but we can pray that with God's strength and workings, we can mean it.
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